Chocodiles

My daughter loves candy. I would say she has a passion for candy. She also has a passion for heavy machinery and tickling. But, I would say her passion for candy far surpasses all others. Her passion for candy makes me reflect on my lifelong passion for sweets. My mother is a saintly woman who has done many, many things to shape me into the pillar of awesomeness that society at large loves and adores. She, perhaps unwittingly, fueled my passion for candy when I was a child by leaving small treats on the table nearly every day after school. The treats ranged from the sublime (Cherry Clan, Gobstoppers) to the grotesque (NECCO wafers). But without fail they were always there.

(A quick aside. The interweb machine is a magical thing. I've been lamenting the demise of the Cherry Clan for years. A quick internet search revealed that the Cherry Clan became the Cherryhead sometime in the 90's. I say shenanigans. I've had a Cherryhead and it's not the same. The formula may be the same, but the amazing Cherry Clan box must have imbued the candy with magical powers that the Cherryhead just doesn't possess.)

On special occasions my mom would put out Hostess treats after school. My favorite Hostess treat was the Chocodile. I didn't eat as may Chocodiles as a kid as I would have liked, which is probably a good thing, seeing as it is basically a Twinkie coated in brown wax. I'm sure the Hostess people will claim that the wax in question is chocolate, but I know what chocolate tastes like and the Chocodile contains no chocolate. Not that the wax is a bad thing. The wax actually serves to dull the sweetness of the Twinkie, resulting in a more mild albeit chemically enhanced (which is really saying something for a Hostess snack) eating experience. The market down the street from my home sells Chocodiles and I purchase one from time to time, mostly for nostalgic reasons. Truth be told, the Chocodile is not particularly good. Zingers, which are coated in a chocolate wax frosting of much higher quality, are much better. I even think that I knew as a child that the Chocodile was not all that I believed it to be. In retrospect, I think that my passion for Chocodiles was nothing more than a triumph of marketing. It was always much cooler to be eating a snack cake whose mascot was a hip crocodile as opposed to a regular Twinkie or, heaven forbid, Snowball.

In any case, here's to you, Chocodile. Thanks for the good times.