Coldplay Makes Me Tired

I thought long and hard about the subject of my first post. After much consideration I've decided to address something that has bothered me for years.

Apparently Coldplay had become the biggest rock band in the world. This is odd to me since Coldplay is not a rock band. I am not a music critic or a musician. I did master the recorder in third grade and played a mean clarinet for a few years in middle school. Also I can operate most CD players and tune a radio. That sadly, is the extent of my musical expertise. I'm sure there are certain criteria that must be met in order for a song to be classified a rock song. Undoubtedly these involve time signatures, chord progressions and the wearing of leather pants. However, when it comes to classifying songs I tend to disregard literal definitions and base my judgments on feel. And to me, with few exceptions, Coldplay does not feel like a rock band.

As far as I can tell, Coldplay has done everything in its power to emulate U2. Chris Martin is earnest to a fault, he wears tape on his fingers and believes in fair trade and whales. Most Colplay songs can be described as either anthemic or ethereal and sound quite lovely in a stadium setting. Yet for reasons unknown to me, the members of Coldplay have not yet figured out how to harness their collective testosterone long enough to write a rock song. On each CD U2 manages to write at least 2 or 3 straightforward rock songs. You don't even have to listen to the music to know which songs are the rock songs. All you have to do is look at the titles: Bullet the Blue Sky, Sunday Bloody Sunday, Elevation, etc. When you look at the titles of Coldplay songs you see things like Yellow, Clocks, and Fix You, which has nothing to do with cars or robots. Sadly, the best Coldplay "rock" song ever written is called City of Blinding Lights and it was written and performed by U2.

I actually like most of the Coldplay songs I've heard. I don't dislike the music Coldplay makes, I simply don't understand the way it is classified. I like to listen to Coldplay when I am tired, and I have a feeling that if my cat ever ran away Chris Martin's falsetto warblings would help soften the blow. People need music that brightens their outlook on life and helps them to fall asleep. James Taylor and Cat Stevens built entire careers writing songs that do just that. I don't remember anyone calling them rock stars.

This is what you should think

I'm writing this blog because I'm tired of people thinking incorrect things. The fastest way to correct this is to periodically post the truth and allow people to access it at their leisure.